| Therapists Note IT’S THE MONTH OF LOVE! I am such a sucker for love, and would use any opportunity to celebrate and bask in love, whether it’s in the context of friendship, family or romantic relationships. But we all know that February is the month of love. Of course, I respect the fact that it’s not everyone who recognises Valentine’s Day, but like i said, any reason to celebrate love. So, journey with us as we talk all things romantic relationships, reproductive health and overall wellness. Happy Valentine’s! With Love, your favourite therapist, Seni Sigasa. The South African 2025 health awareness calendar recognises February as the Healthy Lifestyle Awareness Month with a focus on reproductive health. On this month’s issue we raise awareness reproductive health. This coincides with the ‘month of love’ where billions around the world celebrate Valentine’s Day. In this issue. we explore the intersect of love – particularly in the romantic context – and overall health and wellbeing. Romantic Relationships and Well-being Relationships – be it a monogamous relationship, whether you are married, in a ‘talking phase’, dating…or multi-dating, can be a source of joy and can be equally frustrating dragging one to the bitter ends emotional distress that manifests physically and socially. It is thus important to be intentional when pursuing relationships and forging connections with others. Look, I am no expert, and don’t have a how-to manual on how to relationship but, we can certainly share some experiences and insights. as therapists who engage couples and people in relationships, from all walks of life. Building healthy, fulfilling relationships – advice from our counsellors 1. Know yourself – all of us are on an ongoing journey of being and becoming, getting to discover and create ourselves as we grow. It is important to truly know yourself , to understand your emotions, triggers, personality and everything in between. This will help you set healthy boundaries, know if you are able to pour into your relationship in a way that is healthy. It is easier said than done, and so we also recommend therapy to help you become more self-aware. The techniques used in therapy allow you to see some blinds spots. Therapy may help you identify your strengths and areas of improvement. 2. Effort – Like the saying goes – relationships should not be hard work, but they are work. It is important for you to be at the driving seat of your relationships and put in reciprocal effort to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner. Yes, some days are better than others, and on some occasions, you have to put in more work than your significant other, and vice versa, but a willingness to see a healthy relationship through is essential. So, we are not saying bend over backwards for a relationship that is evidently not working out. Winners know when to stop and if you’re doing tip 1 – know yourself, then it will be easier to discern when you should put in the work or when to abandon ship. Work could look like being being intentional about planning dates, making some adjustments in your life to make room for your relationship, trying couples counselling. These seemingly small gestures make a huge difference. 3. Communication, communication, communication – there goes the C work again. As cliché as it sounds, communication might just be the most important aspect of any relationship. This involves listening (yup, very important) and talking. It is important to listen to the things your partner says and doesn’t say. This means listening with an open heart and mind. What we see in therapy is partners yelling and tossing words at each other without really taking time to hear each other out, outside of their underlying fears and ideas. It is important to listen, even in the uncomfortable conversations that may not necessarily favour you. Similarly, it is important to talk sincerely about your feelings and experiences. Are you feeling like there’s something ‘missing’ in your relationship? Are you ready for marriage? Do you feel like there are habits you would like you and your partner(s) to work on? have those difficult conversation. Similarly, are there any highlights? things that you like and appreciate about your partner and your relationship? Talk about these. One of the tricks here is tone, this should go without saying, but be respectful, kind and considerate in your delivery of the message. Half the time, conflict is started not necessarily by the content of the speech but by how certain issues were communicated. On Relationships, Reproductive Health and Finances Health Aspects – Regular check ups – Typically, a routine checkup includes a pelvic exam, breast exam, and possibly a Pap smear, depending on some factors. These examinations help detect any abnormalities or changes in the reproductive organs, enabling early intervention. – Balanced diet – Talk to your healthcare provider about your risk, and get tested for STDs. Practice safe sex (such using condoms correctly and consistently). Get vaccinated against hepatitis A virus, hepatitis B virus, and HPV. Finances and Relationships Money is cited as one of the leading causes of stress in relationships. Disparate views on budgeting, spending, saving, and investing can create a financial discord that spills over into other aspects of the marriage. When couples can’t find common ground on financial matters, the relationship often suffers. Here are some ways to curb this: – Transparency – be transparent about your finances. This does not mean detailing every cent that comes in and out of your account. Just mention what you are able and unable to do financially, speak about any debts of financial commitments that may affect the relationship. By doing so, you manage your partner’s expectations. – Avoid power plays – Power plays may occur if one partner has a paid job and the other doesn’t, one partner earns more than the other, or one partner comes from a wealthy family money and the other doesn’t. When one or more of these situations are present, the one who has the most money may want to dictate the couple’s spending priorities. How we can support you We offer tailored counselling and mental health services and resources for couples and families. We are also partnered with medical health professionals to offer you affordable hybrid medical health services including STD/STI screening and testing, HIV counselling, and other reproductive health services such as contraceptives. Additional services include: Mental health talks, wellness workshops and team-building activities |
